apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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