He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I enjoy the company of your penis
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
