I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
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