Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Randomize
