Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
