i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Just invented taco cereal.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
