I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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