come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
