youre lurking in front of me
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
