She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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