ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
