My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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