How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
my poor anus
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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