Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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