And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Randomize
