nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
