remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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