I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
