So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
