so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
