Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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