That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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