Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
she pinky promised me she was 18
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
