Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
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