I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
