I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
