Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
