I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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