it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
You were trust falling into bushes
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I have post one night stand depression
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
