you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
