You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Ambien. No doubt about it.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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