i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
