ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
