Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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