He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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