I cockslap morals
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize