the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I could fuck to npr.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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