I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
