I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
