It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
