yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
