Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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