I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
false alarm, still single
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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