How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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