I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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