I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
