please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
