worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
