Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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