hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
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